Once in a Blue Moon - A Carlisle Cullen fan-fic
by thefallenangel17
Summary: Carlisle Cullen is the patriarch of the Cullen clan and of course well respected by all his family members. However, when he receives a letter from a mystery man threatening the life of his wife, everything is thrown into chaos. Escaping, Hiding and plenty of scandal - this story has it all. The family was brought together by similarities - could those same reasons tear them apart?
1. Preface

You know I'll always love you" she said to me. Out of all the things I'd gone through, all the things I've lost, this isn't anywhere in comparison. How could I lose her in an instant, when I've spent an eternity on saving her? My greatest efforts were in vain in the end and I couldn't have done more. I can't accept the truth, nor can I believe the lie. As long as she remains in my memory evermore, she will always exist and no-one can tell me otherwise.

The men were coming closer and although I had an insuppressible urge to attack them, I had to resist the temptation. They would make her suffer in more pain. He smirked at my pain-stricken face. I was nothing to him, just another pawn. She was his Queen, so she had to be destroyed. "It is the only way I can check the King. You must understand that." His appetite for power utterly repulsed me. How could he think of it this way? Not just in the means of chess, but in the means of royalty and rulers? I closed my eyes, hardly able to stand on my own two feet. My mind twisted and turned, like a madman running through a maze with no way out. The daydreams I've had over the past 3 months flickered before my eyes like a dim candle as if they were all happening at once. I heard a fire being lit and sleeves being pulled up and I winced. Everything was happening so fast, it was hard to keep calm and rational.

And then the wolves came. And that changed everything.


	2. Chapter 1 - Social Ineptitude

I sat studying at my desk, researching a rare disease that one of my patients has. I'd been researching since, well, one o' clock in the morning but that didn't make a difference to me in the slightest. It's not like I sleep or anything. This was, in my opinion, one of the advantages of being a vampire. It was six o' clock now, so I had to leave for work in 1 or 2 hours. I would go earlier, but when you live in Forks, a town with a population of 3,120, you don't have that many casualties.

"Good morning honey. How's the research going?" I flinched. Even though I knew the love of my life, Esme, was right behind me, I was so deep in my research that I didn't notice her come in, or run in at vampire speed I should say. In my opinion, I don't consider vampires the same species as humans. We are closely related, by all means, but not the same. We are probably as similar to humans as apes are. I mean, of course in layman's terms we are referred to as "immortals" or "the undead" but I do not believe that this is the correct terminology. After all, how can one compare oneself to a creature they believe to be fictional?

"Hello, Esme. Wonderfully thank you. I think I may have found the cure to Miss Wong's curious disease. It isn't anything out of the ordinary. You know how fascinated I am with human life." Esme sighed fondly. She thought my interests for humans were so… quaint at times. She leaned in closer to me, running her fingers through my rather unkempt blonde hair. She seemed at ease, which somewhat soothed me. She had been rather restless as of late worrying about my favourite son, Edward. He has always been reserved, that much has always been clear to me. However, lately he's been completely antisocial. Shutting himself up in his room for days on end with only his masses of music for company for example. What worried me most however, was the fact that he hadn't hunted in two months. The fact that he was starving himself for God knows what reason quite frankly scared both me & Esme very much. It seemed like Edward was back to his usual self though, judging by the smile on my wife's face.

"Uhm…" she sighed, clearly enjoying herself." You work too hard Carls. You need to loosen up." She kissed me briefly, a playful glint in her golden eyes.

"My apologies ma'am," I said smirking. She ruffled my hair briefly before turning on her heels and graciously walking away towards the door. She paused for a moment outside the door frame. She turned around and said,

"By the way, Edward would like to have a word with you. He's downstairs." At last! I know I can't see into the future like Alice, but used as I am to his ways, I know only too well that when he has a problem, or feels socially inept, he comes to me. I noticed this shortly after I changed him. I was always curious to understand his feelings and the way he reacts to certain things, though I was never quite sure why. Perhaps because he was my first son or that he was different from the others. Esme always hinted at the fact that something wasn't quite right with him, as if he was missing something. With his gift being that he was able to read minds, he never saw a reason to show how he felt, thus the reason for why he is reserved, and I respected this. However, I must admit, I did feel incredibly privileged to be the only one who he openly shared his feelings.

With a certain eagerness about me, I opened the study door and walked as slow as a human down the stairs, where I found Edward. He was reading the 'Tempest', though judging by his dismissive gaze, he wasn't concentrating on the content. I coughed lightly, not wanting to startle him. He turned around, obviously noticing my presence. He thrust the book on the glass coffee table and came up to greet me, a sense of longing in his eyes. He had definitely hunted before he had requested to see me. A sea of words came swarming out of his mouth, one flowing into the next and I could hardly make out any of what he was saying. "Carlisle, you don't know how grateful I am to talk to you. I feel that you are the only one who won't judge me, or feel over-protective of me. I must have put you and Esme through a lot of grief, and the others as well. I shouldn't have acted that way. I was only thinking of myself. I am so deeply so-"I raised my hand to cut him off in mid-speech. He understood and recomposed himself.

"Slow down Edward. Calm yourself. Try telling me again, slower this time."

"Of course; I meant to say that I am just so grateful for your existence. You have always been so willing to help me, even when I wanted rebel against you. I will truly be forever in your debt, a few decades at least."

"Son, no – one blames you. You've been going through a tough time, not having a partner and all. I know how it feels; it seems as if there is no reason for existence. It takes a lot of getting used to. After all, it took me a few centuries to find you. Before then, I had no-one. So go ahead Edward." He took a deep breath, trying to bore deep into my brain, trying to bore deep into my brain to try and see what it was like for me. However, this didn't seem like it was his only problem. It was clear that something had been troubling him, and probably still was. His topaz eyes flickered down to the ground. I think he was embarrassed by the fact I had partially uncovered what the cause of the increase of his ineptitude was. I am just hoping it wasn't too serious.

"I am hoping that you won't think it's too serious. Then again, it does involve you… indirectly." I hadn't a clue as to what he meant. How could I possibly be involved? I admit, it is in an indirect way but if so, who is the main victim, so to speak. After all, Edward was not melodramatic like Rosalie, nor was he pointless. He always had reasons for his actions. I doubt it would change here. He certainly couldn't be going crazy… "It's nice to know that you don't think of me that way," he grimaced. Now it was my turn to act embarrassed as my gaze shifted towards the large window to my left. I should've kept my thoughts to myself. "Do not worry Carlisle. I'll do everything in my power to ensure that sh- the main victim is safe. Well, as safe as a vampire can be anyway." I'd had enough of this. Edward was using one of his manipulative mind tricks to get me more annoyed and want to know more – a common trait of his. At first I didn't mind them, I just considered them an unconscious self-defensive reaction. Now however, they were getting on my nerves and the thought of being deceived, especially by someone like Edward, was overwhelming. My casual slightly upturned lips were immediately replaced by my gritted teeth and a low but distinct snarl coming from the pit of my stomach. Edward on the other hand, kept his sullen expression.

"Enough with the circumlocutive speech!" I shouted, not a care in the world if anyone else heard me, "who's this victim you constantly talk about? It's driving me insane!" I shook my head slightly. I was acting slightly irrationally but I kept that thought to myself. I certainly wasn't apologising, even I know I should. Edward understood my anger somehow. It was as if he had planned for this to happen. Had he?

"Very well Carlisle. You would find out sooner or later anyway," he began, his voice dying down to a stage whisper. I supposed he didn't want to mention this victim's name out loud, in case they heard. "I've been worrying about… Esme." I froze. "And Alice." Alice wasn't my main concern though. Esme was the only one I cared about now. If she was in the slightest bit of danger, I would be completely encompassed in ensuring her safety.

"Why Esme? What sort of danger is she in?"

"This is the problem. I don't exactly know. All I know is that she is involved with some sort of letter and…" His voice drifted off, as if he didn't want to finish his sentence.

"And?" I asked, more anxious than ever.

"… And another man. One who wants her, in this stage in time, dead." No. No, no, no, no! This couldn't be! This cannot be the end. She means everything to me. More than Edward and the rest of them put together. She is my existence, which means I will do everything to save her. Even risk my own life, if that is what it takes. Then I remembered: what about Alice? What was her part in this… madness?


	3. Chapter 2 - Visions

"What has Alice got to do with this?" I asked, my anger & fury raging from the pit of my rather empty stomach. I was planning a rather extravagant hunting trip later on today with Esme but with these new circumstances I would much rather go locally in the forest around our house for some elk. My paranoia was most likely getting the better of me but I couldn't help it. This was the first time that Esme alone had been in any serious danger & I didn't know how to handle it.

Edward however, seemed to be getting more anxious by the minute, trying to anticipate my every move. Lucky for him, it wasn't too hard but he still seemed rather unsettled. His gaze turned to the floor and I knew at once that his reply would not be one that I would particularly enjoy. He said, "I'm afraid that I'm not at liberty to disclose that information. It's a private matter and I'm not supposed to know either." This infuriated me even more. I'm past the stage of being formal & calm now and it seemed that it would be a rather long time before I'm even remotely rational. A deep growl, one I haven't used in years, came ripping through my teeth like a famished monster seeing a glorious feast before him.

"Enough with the pleasantries! She hasn't been telling us everything she knows anyway! We don't keep secrets in this house, remember?" I minute amount of anger was released after that rant and I was almost certain that my argument was too strong for Edward to deny. However, he somehow managed to find one weakness,

"Well, from your reading your mind, I highly doubt you are going to tell Esme about this, hoping she'll find out on her own, if it ever comes to that, that is. Or how about that time a few decades ago when-"I cut him off.

**"SHUT IT!"** My anger came back in full force. He was NOT mentioning the time when I got seduced by another female vampire, Vivienne. That was my absolute darkest hour, which I had rather successfully pushed to the back of my mind. That was a considerably hard thing to do, considering that it is almost impossible to forget anything with vampire memory and he was not going to make me relive that.

Meanwhile, Edward took a calculated step backward, leaving me space to 'cool off'. As if I could. Edward must've read my mind because he stretched out his hand towards my shoulder and said, "Look, I know this is hard on you. I've read your thoughts so I know exactly how closely bound you are to Esme. I often wish that I could love someone as much as you love her. I'd probably react the same way if I were you. I just think it isn't really my duty to tell you. I only saw glimpses of the vision anyway. She was probably trying to hide it from me."

I shrugged of his hand, though I was no longer infuriated with him. In truth, I was enraged with myself. I had lost who I was for a while and I realised the damage I'd caused. I regained myself, knowing that I couldn't let my true dark side glower and find its way through my usually light aura. I attempted to hide this trail of thought but judging by the sympathetic look on his face, I had clearly failed. He whispered, "I wish I could help you more Carlisle, really I do. I just think that this matter no longer lies with me. It lies with Alice." I understand him clearly so I tipped my head down a fraction to show gratitude and slinked away from him, again at human pace. I'd never like using my supernatural powers until absolutely necessary, even if I wasn't around humans. It seemed wrong.

I went to Alice's room, hoping that she'd be there, knowing that she had just been hunting the previous day. Luckily for me, she was, but she didn't seem to be her usual bouncy self. Instead, she seemed distant, as if she was having a vision, though judging by the fact that she was writing in her journal she clearly wasn't. I wrapped my knuckles on her ecru white door twice, still wanting to be polite. Her head snapped up instantaneously and she welcomed me with a warming smile. At that moment, a wave of calm washed over me and I wondered whether Jasper was nearby. He wasn't so I left that thought at the door, so to speak. "Come on in Carlisle," she said, her sweet melodic voice echoing in the monstrosity that was her room. "I've been expecting you." That last line took me by surprise. Then again, she probably saw my… heated conversation with Edward and knew that this is the next place I'd go.

I entered her room and became overwhelmed by the mass amount of purple and pink she had used to decorate it. I didn't often go into my adopted children's rooms. Partly, because I believe it is an invasion fo privacy & partly because I think that it is their own special place for them to express themselves and their interests. In Alice's case, her forte is fashion and design so she changed the layout of her room every year. Each set-up was more extravagant than the last and this was no exception. Her hand designed bed sheets covered her double bed, though I hadn't a clue as to why she had one in the first place. Was she as obsessive with her props as Rosalie was? Also, her room had a door at the back which led to a walk-in closet which was quite frankly, larger than this room. As well as this, everything else in her room was perfect down to the very last detail. The orchids had been freshly picked, the magazines straightened out so that they were at a right angle on the 'coffee table' and everything else in general was neat & organised. This was the opposite of, say, Emmett's room where everything was thrown in without a care in the world as to whether it was in the right place or not.

I heard a light cough come from in front of me. I looked around & noticed that Alice was, there, smiling patiently at me as if to remind me of my main intentions. Even though I'm over three centuries old, I have a limited attention span. It's larger than an average vampire attention span, but still limited all the same. "Oh right," I muttered under my breath. "There was something I wanted to discuss with you, if you have time that is." I laughed at the irony of my statement. It's not like our kind ever ran out of time. Time is meaningless to us, so we never really notice its passing.

I sat down on her luxurious divan & she joined me. Her smile was quivering with worry & anxiety. I suddenly felt an unnecessary rush of guilt which I quickly dismissed. After all, I'm doing this for Esme. As far as I know, her life is in grave danger. I just hoped that Alice's visions wouldn't be as bad as I thought they'd be. "Go ahead Carlisle. I'm all ears." I took a deep breath, and replied,

"Well Alice, I was having a conversation with Edward and… well the subject of your visions came up and… um, I was wondering whether you've had any recently." My planned confrontation ended up being a convoluted mess. Oh well. At least I said something which was along the lines of my intentions. She understood what I meant, however, which was lucky for me.

"I was going to have to tell you sooner or later anyway," she muttered under her breath. "Yes Carlisle I have had a few visions as of late but before you ask me what happened, promise me you won't start acting irrationally. You know, don't shoot the messenger and all that. Isn't that what a human would say?" Although ironic, she was correct. I would probably act irrationally but I promised myself that I wouldn't let my dark side shine through again, no matter how urgent the need was.

"Ok, I promise. Now tell me, what were visions about? I don't care if they aren't pleasant, I need to know. Give me all the details & leave nothing out." She clearly knew that I was going to ask this exact question so she tried to compose herself. However, she couldn't help but show a hint of uncertainty and anxiety on her face, the same way that Edward had done. Are they really that bad?

"Well, alright then but don't forget, you asked for it!" Alice shot me a warning glare, a 'this-stuff-is-not-for-the-faint-hearted' kind of glare to be precise. If I were human, I would've definitely taken Alice's warning on board and requested her to not tell me anything more. I hardly ever came out at night with a torch and pitchfork to seek vampires with my father. Come to think of it, I nearly fainted when I saw the coven hiding in the sewers. However, now that I'm a vampire, such things no longer scare me. Be that as it may, this didn't mean that I was completely fearless. There were still some things which 'scared the living daylights' out of me.

Alice saw that I wasn't changing my mind, so paused for another brief moment and began. "I've had four separate visions in total, each one starting with a man stamping a letter, you know, the old fashioned way with a candle and seal. Afterwards, he shows four separate plans for the future, one in each vision. In the first, he marries… Esme and… 'disposes' of you, shall we call it? And in the second…" I look of regret crossed her face and I was pretty sure she didn't want to tell me it.

"Go on Alice. We had a deal remember?"

"Oh alright. Well, he… kills you, the only the way our kind can be killed but don't worry, that vision was the fuzziest of all, so I doubt it will happen." Although I was relieved by this fact, I was still curious. Did this man know about our kind? Was he one himself? I then decided that that idea could wait. I didn't want to keep Alice waiting.

"Continue Alice."

"Are you sure? Well, the third vision, I'm sorry to report, was the clearest at all, as if I was watching it through a futuristic high definition television set." Her gaze focused on the orchids on the table and she instantly got distracted.

"What happened?" I reminded her. She shook her head slightly, as if getting refocused.

"This man was going somewhere and… well, it was slightly unclear but it looked like he was revealing who we really were to the humans. And the forth was about as clear as the second, probably because they were similar…" This is it. I didn't need Edward with me to know that she was about to tell me about Esme's death. This time however, she didn't need my encouragement. "In the fourth, Esme is killed in what seems like the most brutal way possible. What confused me after this particular vision is that it cut off mid-way. It was as if he realised that he was showing me a thought I shouldn't have seen because I didn't see anything afterwards. It was like he changed his 'frequency' or something. At least, that's what I call it." This sentence sparked a thought in my brain. Hadn't Alice always had trouble with the werewolves? In all her existence, she could never 'see' the wolves. She had never seen any of the wolves decisions in treaty matter or anything else. Was this man a werewolf as well? Was he secretly a new member of the tribe's pack in the La Push reservation has our treaty alliance come to an end?


	4. Chapter 3 - Letter from no-one

**Hi guys! Just thought I'd write a little note over here, you know an author's note? **

**I'm really surprised and happy that this is getting popular; I really didn't think it would be. All the reviews are lovely and thank you for following and favouriting this story! From now on I am going to dedicate one chapter to a random reviewer as a little thank you present. So, this chapter is dedicated to… Sofiaocampo! If you want the chance to have a chapter dedicated to you… please review! Thanks! ;)**

Th-thank you Alice," I stammered. "I will be in your debt." I know I asked her to tell me what she had seen, and I don't blame her for doing so, I just never expecting this… apocalyptic catastrophe. I understand that I was slight over exaggerating things, but we don't know how dangerous this man could be. What would happen if he did expose us to the humans? Would there be a massacre of both vampires and humans. However, more importantly, (well in my opinion anyway) how could _mon cheri_ be in such grave danger? What has she done to this man? Did she know him? I highly doubted it. Maybe it was someone she knew from her human life? No, the only person who would think of doing this would be Charles Evenson, Esme's abusive ex-husband but it couldn't be him. Edward… took care of him decades back. He made sure that he was completely thorough. He drained Evenson's body clean of blood, at least, that is what he told me. It seemed barbaric and masochistic, but that's what the man deserved. It suited his personality well.

I left her room and headed for my study, not wanting Alice to watch me wallow in my own misery. All I wanted to do was lock myself in my study & wait for this wretched letter to come. I heard Alice walk out of her room & whisper, "The letter should be coming in about half an hour. Just thought I'd let you know." I nodded & continued walking to the study, ignoring Edward who clearly wanted to ask what happened. I don't know why he bothered. He could've easily picked through my brains, or even Alice's for that matter, to get the truth. Maybe he decided to be polite and wait for me to tell him the news in my own time. Perhaps he felt bad and was blaming himself, as usual, for our previous episode this morning. Well, I wasn't going to go and tell him that this wasn't his fault, which it wasn't, and that everything is fine, which it really isn't. He somehow got the first part of my message and walked away, heading in no direction in particular. This was my cue to get away and I didn't hesitate.

Once in my study, I locked the door and cut off the lights. I pulled down all the blinds on my mahogany framed windows. All except one, the one furthest away from the door, which I left a fraction open so I could just see the porch which is, presumably, where this admittedly perplexing individual would leave a letter, without too much light gracing the room. At times like this, light was poison to me. Light meant happiness and peace, the opposite of what I was feeling now. Depression and war would be more accurate, so darkness is on my side. If I were in my right frame of mind, I would tell myself to get a grip and pull it together somehow. However, since I'm in a completely different mind, one which I have hardly ever experienced, I foolishly let these gloomy emotions encompass me. Surround me and engulf me in its dark hole. It's not like it is affecting anyone else, just myself so I'm not causing anyone anymore pain, like I had done before.

As a vampire, time is meaningless. To us, a decade in human time was more like a year. Normally, a half an hour's wait would fell like no time at all. Today, it felt I was stuck in time. It was as if I was reliving the same, pain-stakingly agonizing second infinitely. I felt like I was trapped in a blank room alone, screaming my lungs out for all I'm worth but no-one can return my call. Not even my beloved Esme. My father often gave sermons to the rest of the town about this particular place which, according to him, was the place where "spirit folk and demons" go. "The Duskterrains" he called it. I assumed that I fit into that category, though whether I was classified as a 'demon' or 'spirit folk' was down to personal opinion. Of course, at the time such things were just myths and legends but since becoming a vampire, I began to question their true meaning. I was just hoping that someone could save me from the all-consuming madness sooner rather than later.

As if on cue, Esme knocked on the oak door. I straightened myself out and banished my darkness and welcomed my light side once more. I didn't want my innocent dove to see me in this atrocious state. That was part of the deal of allowing myself to unleash the depressive beast from within every now and again.

"Sweetheart, can I come in?" Her voice trembled on the last word, which made me wonder if someone had clued her in on what was currently happening. I just hoped for their sake that they hadn't. Esme was too sweet and delicate to know such things.

"Yes honey," I replied, and then added, "anything for you." I unlocked the door and allowed her inside. She took a brief moment to scrutinize my office before saying,

"Oh Carlisle. Why did you close almost all the blinds and not turn a single light on? It makes it look so grim and gloomy here." At that moment, I wished that I had remembered to do such a simple action; one which would've easily avoided this rather awkward conversation.

"Please accept my apologies mon cheri," I started. "The 'gloominess', as you would call it, was never my intention. At times, I just concentrate better this way." Her face instantly uplifted, her sensatio nal smile radiating out towards me. This meant that she must've believed this somewhat minor white lie.

"Well, that's no excuse!" she said playfully. She began pulling the blinds up and was back at my side almost instantaneously. Unlike me, she had no problem using the few supernatural powers she had.

I couldn't get mad at her though. In fact, I couldn't bring myself to be negative at all. It wasn't just the fact that the light from outside was encompassing the vast space we were standing in. No, it went much deeper than that. When I was with Esme, the whole world stopped in its orbit around the sun. Esme became the main attraction and I revolved around her. Darkness could never reach me now. It was lurking in the deepest depths of the 'Duskterrains', as my father called it and whilst with my love for her from both my livelihood as a human and my existence as a vampire, not even the true meaning of evil could revive it.

"Well my darling Esme. What was the real reason for coming here?"

"You caught me," she exclaimed, putting her hands up like a criminal being arrested as she purposefully stole a kiss from me. "I just thought that we should spend some quality time together. What with all the antisocialism that Edward has been expressing over the past couple of weeks. Our family now feels complete again and nothing can break it down." If only she knew. At least this proves that no-one told her anything yet, and that was a bonus. I pushed these thoughts away from my mind. My main objective was to fill Esme with euphoria so she would be too stuck in her own bubble to care about what was happening. Plus, she had been unhappy for far too long, what with Edward's on-and-off depression phases.

"Where I come fron, I could press charges for such robbery." I couldn't help enjoying myself with Esme. She was already ecstatic that I was playing along, something I rarely ever do. She tried to hide it by pushing me gently against one of the mahogany walls in a playful manner but I know her far too well.

"Luckily for me, it is a free country," she replied. She began kissing me, her lips moving passionately against mine. Her soft, yet firm hands were caressing my casually combed back blonde hair and I couldn't help but wrap a lock of her naturally wavy chestnut-coloured hair around my fingers. As if trying to mimic this action, my love fingered a few stray strands of hair which were next to each other & added, "Which means that I can do whatever the hell I want."

"If my father were here, he'd punish you for using that kind of language but I'll let it slide."

"How very generous of you," she smirked but then becoming slightly more serious. "So, what about it? Do you want to spend some quality time with me this week. Unless –" I cut her off.

"For you, anything. You really shouldn't have to ask me because you know I'd never deny you of it. Your happiness and safety are my gravity on this planet. If both of them became non-existent, I'd start floating off into space. I'd just be an entity, a lost cause, a nothing." I realised I put a bit too much meaning in the miniature monologue for it to be considered my regular, compassionate self. To any everyday person who hadn't heard about what Alice had seen, it seemed as if Esme's safety & happiness would be disappearing, which was, on the whole, true. However, I couldn't let my beloved yet fragile Esme know the truth. This is why I murmured, "I agree with you though. Proper quality time with you is long overdue," in her right ear. She seemed to somehow believe this and whispered in my right ear,

"You hopeless romantic." She nibbled my ear briefly before saying, "Well I'm off on a shopping trip with Rosalie. We've always wanted to go shopping, just the two of us, without Alice dragging us into every store we come across. You can't not love Alice though. It's just who she is." I knew at an instant that Alice had purposefully planned this shopping trip for them, knowing that it would ensure Esme's absence when I received the letter. I made a mental note of this.

"Enjoy it honey. I'll be anxious for your return." With a quick kiss on my forehead, she dashed out the room and I heard the front door close seconds later. It wasn't until I heard Rose's admittedly ostentatious Red BMW M5 convertible pull out of the driveway when I went into full-blown panic mode. Was it possible that the man would see Esme with Rose and kill both of them then & there? No, I highly doubted it. People like this man would probably want to make their victim, or the victim's loved one, suffer in a considerable amount of pain, emotional or physical, before crucially damaging them further. Isn't that how it worked?

I quickly realised what this constant worrying about Esme was doing to me. It was making me depressed; it pushed away any sense of happiness and was turning me into someone who belonged in an insane asylum. More importantly though, my compassionate side, which was greatly magnified when I was transformed, was slipping away from me like water seeping through the cracks of one's cupped hands. This was something I couldn't afford to lose. Without it, I was useless in more ways than one. For one, it would mean that I have no gift to speak of. I would only be as useful as a newborn. Easily manifested, easily discarded and easily destroyed. For another, I would lose everything that I had achieved over the past three centuries in very short order. I would become a masochistic vampire, and that frightened me to no end. That was my absolute law in this second life. Finally, I wouldn't be able to keep our family together, and I certainly wouldn't fulfil the 'patriarch of the family' position in that rather deranged state. No, that isn't me. That's not who I am and that's not who I want to be. I then snapped out of it. Something I should've done earlier.

I looked around my study for a fifty-sixth of a second before closing the doors. I knew that Edward had several questions for me, begging to be answered but he was probably still feeling polite enough for me to come to him when I was ready. After all, I had done the same thing with him when he was feeling socially inept. I supposed this was part of the 'I will be forever in your debt' quota. Nevertheless I wanted to put him out of his misery… partially. I wasn't going to tell him everything just yet – there's too much too tell. No, I would reveal everything to him, and possibly to Emmett and Jasper as well, after I received the letter. Some things may become clearer that way. I 'thought' this whole message at Edward, and he seemed to understand. He nodded and resumed pacing the hallway, waiting for that certain madman to show. Apparently, he had been doing so ever since I left Alice's room.

"He should be coming any moment now." Alice began, sounding tense. "Edward, go get Jasper. He should be in the loft. Oh, and Emmett as well, if he feels like coming." She tried changing the anxious atmosphere with this light-hearted comment and I smiled gratefully. Edward paused for a moment, then reluctantly stalked off towards the attic. Edward was travelling at a quickened human pace, which gave me and Alice some time to talk. Alice didn't waste a single second. "Carlisle, I'm sorry. I never meant things to turn out this way. If only I had told you sooner. Things may have been different then…" She trailed off. I couldn't have her feeling guilty for my sadness. She wasn't to blame and I needed her to know that.

"Alice, what's done is done," I started, putting one hand on her left shoulder. "We can't change the past, as much as we'd like to. I find that life, or in our case existence, has many roads. Within those are forks and alleyways. Now I feel that I took a wrong turn somewhere on my previous track and am heading somewhere new." I brushed my thumb gently below her eye, as if I was wiping her tears. Of course, we couldn't cry, but that doesn't mean we didn't try to when we were upset. She nodded and smiled, though it was still clear that she was still upset.

Thankfully, Edward came down the stairs, Jasper and Emmett in tow. This broke me and Alice off as Jazz gestured for his wife to come closer to him. Clearly her sadness was unsettling for him as it was an emotion she rarely experienced and any unhappiness and negativity she expressed set Jasper on edge. I took comfort in the fact that Emmett hadn't changed at all since I'd hear the news. Great. That makes one person who wasn't affected by my selfish actions. Still; it was better than nothing.

"So Carlie, who is this idiot who threatens to hurt my mother? No-one messes with the Cullens. He deserves a taste of his own med-" he cut himself off as he saw out of the corner of his eye Alice giving him a death glare. He wasn't the sharpest knife in the black so he didn't understand why he was being given one of Alice's don't-say-another-word-or-I'll-take-your-arm-off' glares. However, he understood that he wasn't supposed to pry any further and stopped and straightened himself out. However, he was still intent on diffusing the tension that lingered around the room. "Well, all we have to do is wait a few more minutes. How hard can that be?" He had no idea.

I stared at the 18th century clock in the hallway, waiting for the seconds to tick by. Seconds turned into minutes and I couldn't help but wonder if Alice had got it wrong. If there was a different Esme out there who was to be assassinated. Alice kept on trying to go into vision mode, find out more about this individual and his background. According to her though, it was no use. I decided to check the front door, just in case we had received the letter. I wasn't expecting it to be there though. How wrong I was.

My whole body froze for a moment. There was an old woven paper envelope on the doorstep. There was no indication of a postmark, or a return address. More to the point, there was no address at all. There were just three words on it: Carlisle Emerson Cullen. how did this ominous man know my middle name? I've never revealed it to anyone except my family members and they never told anyone else. I suppose it was on some legal documents… but how could he get hold of them? There were so many unanswered questions floating around in my head that I decided to ignore them. They would probably drive me to insanity if I did.

My attention came back to the letter. Who was it from? Had he revealed himself in the letter? I highly doubted it. I was going to muse about this longer, but my curiosity was too great. I picked it up with one hand and opened the door with the other, my gaze fixed on it the whole time. My family members noticed the letter in my hand and took one step, as if they were scared that it contained radioactive blood which would kill them all in an instant if they drank it. I noticed that they all calmed down soon after though, so I assumed Jasper was controlling their emotions. "This is it," I muttered under my breath. "The moment of truth." Of course, everyone heard my comment. There was an odd moment of silence and I sincerely hoped that someone would break it sooner rather than later. Emmett decided to do this, of course.

"Oh come on! Open it, Doc! I'm dyin' over here!" Everyone scowled at him and shouted,

"Emmett!" in unison. Everyone except me.

I left the letter on one of Esme's favourite antique coffee tables, knowing that four curious pairs of golden eyes, varying in shades depending on their last hunting trip, would start staring at it the moment my back was turned. I went back to my office and took one of my many letter openers from the drawer of my desk. I held it at the top, my index finger encircling the encrusted ruby to calm myself, and headed out. I still feared the inevitable, but that wasn't going to change was it?

As I was walking down the stairs, I heard murmurs from in the living room. I assumed that Alice was just catching them up to speed but as I came closer, they were talking about something else. Well, in a way. Jasper was the one catching Emmett up to speed, which made me assume that Alice had told Jasper before he told Edward. This meant that half the family knew about this before I did. Well, there was nothing I could do about that now, was there? However, that wasn't what piqued my curiosity. No, it was Alice's mutters to Edward which had pricked my ears up, so to speak.

"I'm telling you Ed, I know what I saw. We should tell Carlisle. You and I have hurt him in more than ways than one. This will help relieve the pain a little." Edward had a hard edge in his voice as he spoke.

"It won't. It's best that he knows as little as possible." That hurt. The son I loved the most, trusted the most was hiding things from me. I swallowed hard, well tried to, and took this emotional blow. Perhaps Edward was right? Maybe he had a very good reason for withholding information from me? Alice however disagreed. She seemed to have a pleading look on her face, a sign of desperation.

"Edward please-"

"Fine. Whatever," Edward replied, a low snarl coming through his teeth. "Tell me then. What exactly did you see?" Alice hesitated for a twelfth of a second, and I turned to leave. I didn't want to hear this. Not yet.

"Well, nothing. But-"

"Exactly," Edward interrupted. I froze. What did he mean? Well, I wasn't going to give myself time to figure it out. Not now anyway. I turned around and continued walking into the living room. I needed to stop this conversation before it went any further.

As I expected, the moment I walked in, everyone froze and started staring at the letter once more. I shook it off and pretended I didn't care. They all seemed to pity me one way or another. I'd better get on before I was engulfed with pity messages. "Let's get this horror show started shall we?" I tore the letter opener through the top of the envelope and took the letter out in one swift movement. The paper, like the envelope, had a woven feel to it. I could tell instantly that it was written with a quill. I decided to read it aloud. It said:

C,

At last. I've found you. I'm sure you don't know me, but I know you quite well. You are the one who has interfered with my plans from the beginning. The best part is, that you didn't know you were doing it. Oh how pathetic and naïve you are.

You must've been expecting this, expecting me. Don't ask how I know about the psychic and the mind reader. You see, I'm used to being second best, an afterthought in life; always a step behind everyone else. And you, well you haven't properly suffered loss yet. What happened three centuries ago doesn't count. It's time to turn the tables.

I expect you roughly know what I'm about to say, but let me clarify. I have 4 paths ahead of me, and only time will tell which one I will take. The first, one of my personal favourites might I add, is marrying Esme, the love of my life who I was too late to save. The one you stole from me. But of course, I highly doubt that Esme will willingly accept me again, since you brainwashed her.

The second is for me to have the joy of assassinating you. Oh, and don't even think for a millisecond that I will be nice about it, or murder you the human way. I know who you are and what you are. I won't even take the liberty of dismembering you first. That would be too generous of me. I'll burn you alive, starting from the tongue.

The third will possibly result in a major destruction and unrest. I will reveal your precious secret to the world, starting with a little known town in Italy called Volterra. I have a feeling you know this place. The fragile lives of your family will be shattered in the hands of your precious monarchy, the Volturi, and they will show you no mercy. They will make sure you pay the price for my 'mistake'.

The fourth is for me to annihilate Esme. Of course, this is a big price for me, but an even bigger price for you. Besides, she won't be the same innocent sweet girl that I once knew and fell in love with. You've changed her into a monster and I know she can never love me the way she did before. When she sees me, the memories will come rushing back, but she will always stay faithful to you. This is why I have to silence her… permanently, you see. I don't want to cause her any more pain.

So there you have it. I look forward to the time when our paths cross and when I write to you next. T hope I've given you something to think about.

Until then,

E.S.

There was absolute silence in the living room at that moment. Not even Emmett made a sound. Everyone had frozen, rooted to the spot. Any form of life or thought had left them momentarily, leaving their angelic bodies behind. It was like time had stopped moving forward. We weren't reliving a second infinitely, as no seconds were passing. It was like time itself had stopped in its tracks and we stopped with it. I was so overwhelmed by the recent events that I didn't really know how I felt. What they say about extreme emotions altering vampires in permanent ways was true, and there was no denying it.

For some reason, I wanted this emotionless time to be over. I wanted the family members around me that I know and love to regain their personalities and who they are, or at least who they were. For Emmett to crack some sort of joke so the rest of us could scowl at him for being so immature. For Alice to drag me to my bedroom and lecture me about my depleted – well depleted to her – closet and what I should wear for hours on end. For Edward to compost another intricate lullaby for Esme and make him teach me how to play it. For Jasper to use his mood control on Alice for Emmett & Rose's personal entertainment. More importantly than all of this though, was that I wanted my normal - or as normal as vampire life could get – life back. Normality was what I wanted most now.

Eventually, Emmett did break the silence. "This E.S. guy is incredibly cryptic, don't you think?" I smirked, a feeble attempt to lighten the darkened mood surrounding us. My gaze turned towards Edward. It seemed as if he was trying to understand something, a key detail that we had all overlooked. He nodded briefly and I assumed it was to do with my most recent thought.

'Is it fine for you if the rest of them know?' I thought at him. I nodded again.

"Umm, you two," Emmett began, coughing lightly. "This is all rather cosy and all, but I think the rest of us would like to know what you guys are telepathically discussing." I shook my head, as if to come back to the present moment. Emmett chuckled to himself and mimicked my stance and facial expressions. "After all, it is incredibly rude to have a discussion with someone else without excusing yourself first or allowing other members join the conversation," he said in an exact copy of my American accent with a hint of British which I always spoke in without even trying or knowing. I looked down at my feet, ever so slightly embarrassed. Emmett continued, obviously happy that his 'plan' partially worked. "Isn't that what you always say?"

"Yes, well…" I replied, my voice trailing off into the distance. I was still embarrassed. Edward picked up on this fact.

"Let us return to the matter at hand, shall we?" I mouthed a 'thank you' at him, but he took no notice. He seemed hesitant to continue.

"Go on, son," I prompted. "Tell them what you think." He nodded.

"What confused me is that there was no scent trail left behind. The forest smelled exactly the same as it had done before we received the letter." Everyone thought about this obvious fact for a moment, clearly annoyed that they hadn't thought of it prior to when Edward had told them.

"I vote we go searching in the forest for some sort of lead," Emmett growled, obviously keen to hunt this man down. I was about to reply, when Jasper said,

"Perhaps, but we need to be on our guard. There must be a reason why he has no scent. We don't know who he is or even what he is, and we don't know if he poses a threat to us or the humans." Alice stood up and leaned in closer to Jasper.

"I agree with Jazz on this one. We need to be careful, and fast. Esme and Rose will be back home in one hour."

"Well then, that settles it," I replied. I highly doubted that this E.S. would still be lurking around in the forest. However, I hoped that he had left something behind, something which could reveal a bit more about his secretive self.

In no time at all, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Edward & I were outside. We decided to split up in smaller groups. Edward & I covered the west side of the vast forest, whilst Emmett, Jasper & Alice took the east side. This is one of the few times where I used my supernatural speed, but even then I was only running at less than half of my maximum speed. Edward wasn't travelling at his highest potential speed either, because he wanted to be thorough. We stopped after a while as we both decided that the area we were standing in seemed to be different than the rest of the areas, both in smell and in feel. I didn't know how at that point, but I had a feeling that I was about to find something crucial to our crisis.

I was walking aimlessly around the outskirts of the area we were searching in, when I stepped on something which didn't seem to fit with the rest of the earth and leaves. I picked up, wondering how I had never seen or smelt it. It was a single carnation pink tulip, completely fresh with no signs of wilting. It was near a fir tree, surprisingly the only one for miles around. It also had ivy wrapped around the trunk and spreading out towards the branches. There was also a small card attached to the tulip. It read:

_'For Esme Anne Platt Evenson. May this single tulip show my true undying love for you. Remember that I will always be forever yours. Don't forget where your heart lies. Your loving Eben'_

I didn't know what to make of this. It was clear that she knew this man, at least in her human life. I didn't want to interfere, or let Edward see, so I dropped where it was before and hoped that she wouldn't find it. If she did find it, it was meant to be. Fate works in such interesting ways, and it is important never to interfere with its course.


End file.
